Lord, you are so dealing with me....Submit every thing I mean every thing....I am trying,,,trying to yield to your calling. Yet, I confess I am not always in your shadow...I jump out and saying don't you know I'm here....Then I remember Duh, God knows everything...I am the one that is short sighted...Lord God almighty...I am to a point in my life I have given alot of who I thought I wanted to be...But I am afraid, you will exspect so much I cat imagine who I will be...I have no concept of what is to come or what you want of me....But your Word says you have a plan for my future, plans of hope plans not to harm me! But I have been harmed and broken and I fear what's to come...I know fear is not of you and that I can trust you ....But how, how can I when I don't trust myself....I here what I write and I am lacking in Faith...So I need to shrink back in to your shadow and call out Abba Father I need you once again...when will I trust and obey, Lord, I am frail but Your mercies are new every morning Please help my unbelief.

I am sad I had a meeting with the two teachers of our public school Isp. To work out Savvy's education. I enter with hope, I walked away feeling I am the only one on earth that thinks as I do....I am not able to convey, what I know to be true. My advocate Christ is not invited to the meeting. My child' learning style is not invited into the school....I am told I do a great job with Savvy. BUT, yes the big But, I must do it their way...How I call out, how can we. If we can't (DUH)When I explain the directional difference they don't get it....Savvy and I go against the grain. The school teachings are void of Christ's truths....and the understanding of how we learn as well.....The concept of testing is invalid...The"Test"is a procedure intended to establish the quality, performance, or reliability of something . Well we all ready know Savvy will not fit the mark so why test her. As I come to the place called school knowing we are different....So how can you compare apples to oranges. When would I put so much into this thought well good question.....My child was Graded today for a unfair request Twice......I am put out and want justice ...Yah, but where is it... It's not at school nor is it in the way I am viewed as a home educator. Not with true dignity. so what's next where do I go with my child.....I have no clue or any avenues....I am dry and uncreative because of life beating us down.....Oh Lord my rock and redeemer....I call out to you...Is there any sin in my views....Have I lost touch with what is right and pure....Am I like a Wig in Johnny Tremain's story or and I a rebel. I wan to be humbled beneath your feet oh Lord... You say Lord, if you do not receive you have not asked....Jesus, I am asking in your name Help I am being crushed bearing the weight of the Public School unrealistic State Standards and Scope and sequence.....Vs. Christendom where life is good but at a huge price in which This Perez family cannot compete. Lord< I am cry out literally. You never give me a task unequipped so am I missing the Huge Mark here Help Jesus help